with age and death comes reflection…

Because I'm not a regular blogger, there are things that go on in my life that are not well known or shared. Blogs are like that in general I think. Does anyone share completely and unfiltered or do we only share what we are comfortable showing to other people? Anyway, as a point of sharing,... Continue Reading →

Dear Me – a year end reflection

Dear Me, It's been a rough year, but you've learned some things about yourself haven't you? That is how we should look at it. Lessons learned. You have been so low, riding a roller coaster that doesn't seem to end. Have faith. Just as the plants you haphazardly tend renew themselves, so will you. Drink... Continue Reading →

That old familiar feeling

I'm restless It's under my skin That feeling, a hunger I want fingertips tracing my spine A kiss on the back of the neck I want to be in a room surrounded by darkness Feel the vibration of sounds envelope and cradle me Cut me off from existence Leave me to my thoughts with nothing... Continue Reading →

when the levee breaks…

*trigger warning: this post contains a description of rape. my story. I wanted so bad for this to be strong and coherent and all the things that I want to be and feel, but it isn't. For the past few days, watching like the rest of the country, I have felt anything but strong. I... Continue Reading →

4am ramblings

I can't sleep and I'm not sure why my brain won't shut off. I saw this post on Instagram, the scrolling of choice when sleep won't come. Part of me was reassured. There is no rush. Good people end up with good people. Don't settle. Then I thought am I a good person? I try... Continue Reading →

delete the traces

Its taking me longer than I expected. Those are the things that get us, expectations. I deleted you from all social media. I deleted the playlist of all our songs from Spotify. I chucked out the silly ceramic toucan you painted complete with nipples. I'm removing the traces I can find, the things that make... Continue Reading →

The time the disconnect became overwhelming

Trigger warning: The following post deals with mental health issues - depression, anxiety, self-harm, negative self-talk. I should learn to listen to my body. You would think at 41 years old, this would be a lesson I have memorized; I don't. I constantly strive and push and work towards that achievement of "Feeling Good/Normal/Healthy", whatever... Continue Reading →

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